In most cases, mutual attraction is what links two people together at the beginning of a relationship. The key element to empowering the relationship beyond the initial connection is to remain desirable to one another. Most people are experts at making themselves desirable in the beginning of a relationship, but as that initial desirability wears off, the other person may start to lose interest and seek out someone else they find desirable, and suddenly, the relationship is over. There are, however, some simple things you can do to make yourself highly desirable and increase your chances of a keeping that perfect catch.
Take care of your appearance-your face, hair, nails, body and the way you dress. Many people stop taking care of their appearance when they become comfortable in a relationship. While it’s nice to feel comfortable, that’s no reason to start looking shabby.
Show your beautiful smile. No one likes being around someone who is always sad. Humans have a natural desire for happiness, and it is difficult to feel happy when someone around us is always down. I know it’s sometimes hard to keep a stiff upper lip when things are not going so great, but I encourage you to do so. Think happy thoughts to help cheer yourself up. Don’t underestimate the power of smiling. Even a fake smile can actually make you feel better, look more attractive, and make the other person feel good around you.
Think and speak positively about life. Your significant other will enjoy being around the positive you. There’s nothing worse than being around someone who always complains about life. Complaining and being generally negative makes others feel irritated and annoyed, and is one of the quickest ways to get the other person running in the other direction.
Be mysterious. Don’t hide anything important, of course, but giving details about yourself a little at a time keeps a relationship fresh. A little mystery keeps your significant other curious and interested in knowing more about you. You can avoid divulging everything about yourself by asking questions that would help you to know the other person better.
Feel confident about who you are. Criticizing yourself and having a low self-esteem can turn the other person off very quickly. You will be more desirable when you feel good about yourself and have confidence in whatever you do. When you radiate confidence, your date will feel proud to walk with you and introduce you to others.
Show interest in your significant other. Pay close attention to what you’re he or she has to say. Even if you are not interested, look interested. You can show that you’re interested by nodding, repeating what is said and commenting in the end. If everything your date talks about is boring, then maybe that person is not the right one for you.
Wait to make love. Don’t be physically intimate with the other person at the start of the relationship. You want to keep that other person interested in you, and if you give yourself entirely at the beginning of the relationship, chances are the other person will lose interest. Let sexual desire be a part of the driving force that keeps that person chasing you. Plus, your goal should be to make love, not just to have sex. Love is something that develops over time. Wait until you know you both love and are committed to each other-ideally, when you are married.
Take turns planning dates. You shouldn’t always be planning your time together. Both people need to be involved. Any relationship takes work, and if the person you are dating is not working at it, then at some point you will start to be taken for granted. When your date plans for both of you, he or she is investing time and energy into the relationship. The more your date invests into the relationship, the more likely it is that your date will stick around.
Take turns paying for everything. Again this has to do with investing into the relationship, which includes financially. Your date is less likely to have the desire to start a new relationship if he or she has invested a lot of time and money in your relationship. If the relationship doesn’t last, you will feel better at the thought that you haven’t spent too much money on that person.
Allow the person you are dating to be free. No one likes to be told what to do. If you constantly try to control your date’s every move, he or she will end up resenting you and will eventually abandon the relationship. If you are continually feeling frustrated over what the other person is doing, then maybe you should consider working on yourself or finding a partner who better suits your needs. This is not to say that you should keep your mouth shut about everything. If there is something that is really affecting you negatively, then talk to your date using “I” messages. For example, “I think it is not nice for you to not call me if you are going to be late for our dinner date. I feel angry because you didn’t call me. I want you to call me next time.” How you communicate really makes a difference. Certain things you might want to just let go and not make a big deal out of them. It really does take a mature person to accept people the way they are, but you can do it if you set your mind to it. In the long run, you will have a happier relationship.
Compliment your date in front of others. Pointing out your dates good qualities can make him or her feel good inside and in return feel good about you. People’s self-esteem can reflect how they feel about themselves and their environment. Boosting his or her self-esteem will only lead your date to find you more desirable.
Treat others with respect. The kind of impression you leave on the person you are dating will partly depend on how you treat others. Making fun of or putting other people down in any way will make you appear less desirable. For example, my friend Chris once had a blind date who was very polite and nice to him the whole time they were on their date. However, she was not so friendly towards the hostess and waiter. She yelled at the hostess for not seating them immediately. She told Chris that the hostess was “lame” and shouldn’t be working at such a high-class restaurant. She also was rude and obnoxious towards the waiter for not telling her there were going to be mushrooms on her steak. Chris knew then and there that he would not be seeing her again. Her behavior was an immediate turn-off. Chris told me that he got an awful glimpse of what it would be like if he continued to date her. Remember the age-old advice, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”